You Don't Have to Apologize for Taking Up Space
There are a lot of messages telling us how to be.
Be helpful.
Be agreeable.
Be productive.
Be easygoing.
Don't be too loud.
Don't be too sensitive.
Don't take up too much space.
And somewhere along the way, it can become surprisingly easy to start treating your own existence like an inconvenience.
You don't need to.
You are allowed to have opinions. You are allowed to have boundaries. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to take up physical space, emotional space, creative space, and simply...space in the world.
You don't have to make yourself smaller so everyone around you can be comfortable.
You don't have to earn your place
Sometimes we act as though our right to be here depends on what we're accomplishing.
If we're useful, we're valuable.
If we're helping someone, we're valuable.
If we're taking care of everyone else, we're valuable.
If we're productive, we're valuable.
But your worth isn't a performance review.
You don't have to accomplish something impressive before you are allowed to feel good about yourself.
And you don't have to justify your existence by constantly doing something for someone else.
There is a difference between confidence and arrogance
Taking up space doesn't mean believing you're more important than everyone else.
It can be much quieter than that.
It can mean saying what you actually think instead of automatically agreeing.
It can mean wearing what you like.
It can mean admitting that you don't want to do something.
It can mean protecting your time.
It can mean letting yourself be seen without immediately worrying about whether everyone approves.
It can even mean laughing at yourself.
Sometimes a little irreverence is healthy.
There is something freeing about being able to say, "Yep. This is me," without immediately adding an apology.
Maybe you don't need to be everyone's favorite
This one can be hard.
Especially if you've spent a lot of your life trying to keep the peace.
Someone will misunderstand you.
Someone won't like your boundaries.
Someone may think you're too much.
Someone else may think you're not enough.
You can spend an enormous amount of energy trying to manage everyone's perception of you.
Or you can start asking a different question:
Am I comfortable with who I am?
That doesn't mean you stop growing or stop caring about other people.
It means you stop making everyone else's approval the price of admission for being yourself.
A little sarcasm can be a form of self-permission
Sometimes the serious self-help language gets...well, a little serious.
You don't always need a five-step process for everything.
Sometimes you need to laugh.
Sometimes you need to put on a shirt that says exactly what you're thinking.
Sometimes the reminder you need is simply:
Just be grateful I'm here.
It's funny.
It's a little ridiculous.
And maybe that's the point.
You don't have to take yourself so seriously to take yourself seriously.
You can work on yourself while still having a sense of humor about being a human being.
This week's intention
I don't need to apologize for taking up space.
Not because I'm better than anyone else.
Because I'm allowed to be here, too.
And maybe that's something worth remembering a little more often.
If a little sarcasm is part of how you remind yourself not to take everything so seriously, I made a shirt for that, too.
Just Be Grateful I'm Here is available in the Strength Of Etsy shop.
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